Monday, September 2, 2013

Long Time; Long Post

I have been staying busy-ish.
 I covered an ugly sofa pillow with an orphan block.
 I think it turned out well.
 And I had some pre-quilted fabric, so I covered two more.
 I got the little girl quilt back from the quilter, so I bound it.
 My quilting friends liked the back more than the front.
 The pink fabric I found at a garage sale, plus the quilting design, made the quilt adorable. Kali liked it, and her mother sent me a photo of her, via text message, curled up on it.
 At Mom's house I started a new project that involved a bunch of little squares (you may have seen them in a previous post).
 The center motif is made up of seven florals surrounded by hexagons. I have nearly three done. 
 THEN I decide to move everything out of my sewing room into the room above, so I can paint the sewing room and turn it into a bedroom and have the old bedroom, which is bigger, as my sewing room. After 4 trips to Goodwill to get rid of stuff I'd stored in the closets of both rooms, I discovered I lost my car (and house keys), so I used a spare key to drive myself to the gym for a swim to relieve some of my frustration. When I got home I started going through the trash bags. I found my keys in the first one. HOO-RAY!
I thought I would paint the old sewing room-new bedroom a color to go with the border I thought I loved.
 I don't love it, so I spent the most of one holiday weekend removing almost all of it. I nearly fell backward off the ladder, so I took a break, and once I resumed working, I actually did fall backward off the ladder, but I was lucky enough to land on my feet. I climbed back up, THEN I nearly did a header off the ladder and called it quits for the day. The next day I went to buy paint; I was optimistic that yellow would be a cheerful, delightful color. I was wrong about that too. I will choose a muslin color and hire the painting out to a co-worker. 
 Atlanta has had a woefully rainy summer. That's why we don't have any locally grown tomatoes this year. People told me gardening was an exercise in futility. I have such awful water problems in my yard. Below is a photo of the gutter I banged on with a broomstick while standing in the rain, on a table, in an effort to dislodge a clog. 
Epic fail.
So today I am trying to turn 12 placemats my Mother's friend made for her, out of Brannock-Patek Moda fabric, into a quilt.
 After sewing 8 inches, and then ripping it out, my Bernina started making a grinding sound. Fail again.
I've had a couple of counseling sessions in which I've been told I keep running from my feelings, that I'm lost, scared and angry. The last session had me crying for a day and a half. I don't want to go back. I have, however, found a grief support group that meets on Sunday evenings. That may allow me time to pull myself together enough to go to work Monday mornings.
The night before last I dreamed my husband didn't die and he was standing in our closet wondering where his clothes went. And last night I didn't fall asleep until 3 a.m. because I was scared I'd have another haunting dream.
This afternoon I think I will go to the gym and beat the holy hell out of the heavy bag.


Muddling Through said...

Oh, Karmen, I'm sorry you are having glitches in what you're trying to do, but you ARE accomplishing a lot. You've been through some major life changes and you are taking steps to move on. You will move on, and it IS going to get better. It's just going to take some time. You will win IF you don't quit. I have confidence in you and I'm praying for you. Hugs and love, Elaine

oldgreymare said...

please do what I have learned to do. Before climbing on ladders or doing something that could be hazardous, please call someone and tell them and arrange to call them back within a certain time, and if not they should check on you. I also now keep my cell phone in my pocket. After falls and near falls like you described and a good "talking to " by my daughter I've

WoolenSails said...

It will take time, it is not something you would want to go through and it hasn't been that long, let the feelings out. You have been really busy and I agree, pale yellow is not a good color, we did that in the basement and i hate it. I do love those blocks for the placemats, that will make a fun quilt.


Brenda said...

I haven't been through the loss of a husband, but my advice is to take it one day at a time and only do so much in one day. It will get better!

Gretchen said...

Sending you big hugs! You will make it through all of this and it will take a lot of time and a lot of different emotions. I think a grief support group is a good move in the right direction. Take care of yourself, ok? Sending you all the best wishes & peaceful thoughts.