Sunday, May 26, 2013

Grape hyacinth and cream colored roses. My wedding bouquet was cream colored roses and grape hyacinth.
 Things have gone inexplicably wrong at the hospital. He had one great day, and it looked like stroke recovery would go well. 
This Memorial Day weekend my husband is on a respirator and feeding tube in ICU.
 It turns out the nutsy stuff I used to shake my head over was probably due to dementia. I'd recently insisted he go to a doctor. He went but would not allow me in the room. I suspect he was not completely honest with the doctor. 

I told him we needed to get through whatever changes were happening to him in the best way we could and he needed to get medical help. He knew something was wrong. He had tremor in his hands and was scared for me to go anywhere. He said "What if something happens to me?" I made him an appointment with a psychologist to discuss his reluctance to seek medical help. I thought to myself that if  he was going to have Alzheimer's or Parkinson's we could manage our way through it with medical help.

He was not able to make the appointment because of the stroke. In the space of a week the nurses could not believe he was the same patient. On Tuesday walking (with assistance), holding food, getting a drink with straw to his mouth, talking (nonsense, but for the most part with a great vocabulary); each day he lost something. Each day. The next Tuesday he had lost the ability to do any of those things and more. This is day 17. On day 15 he had trouble breathing, so they took him back to ICU.

Rapidly progressing neurodegenerative disease. 

He is finally resting peacefully with the assistance of heavy sedation. I don't know what will happen. I only know what the doctor's tell me, and I cannot get my mind around it.

15 comments:

Susan said...

May you both find the peace and strength to get you through.

Monica said...

No words...just virtual *hugs*.

marlu said...

So tough for him and for you! Thinking of you both with prayers....

WoolenSails said...

Karmen,
I am so sorry to hear that things have gotten worse and my prayers and thoughts are with you both. Has he been tested for lyme or bitten by a mosquito in the past year? I had a lot of those behaviors and symptoms and they can present in that way.

Debbie

Cathy said...

Stay strong and remember to take care of yourself. Will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Diane Branish said...

Oh Karmen, I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself, too. Sending you a hug and lots and lots of prayers.

Nancy in MT said...

I've been thinking about you both, keeping positive thoughts for a definitive diagnosis and recovery. I know how hard each day is, thoughts and prayers to you.

Anonymous said...

Prayers for you as you make difficult decisions...

oldgreymare said...

I am so sorry to read this. I hope you have a support system in place for you..this will be very difficult. My prayers go out on your behalf.
z

Muddling Through said...

Oh Karmen, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. What a shock. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I am praying for you now. None of this is a surprise to the Lord and He will help you through it. Lean on His strength.

Linda said...

Dear One, we are praying for you and yours!

msstitcher1948@yahoo.com

Wendy said...

Doctors actually know very little in these matters: listen to your own common sense and act upon it. Prayers to you and your family.

O'Quilts said...

Good Lord, Karmen...Life is so awful sometimes. I too am sending hugs to you.

Carol C Thomas said...

Take care of yourself in this life journey. May you find Peace.

Libby said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news and turn of events. Keeping you and your dear Hubby in my thoughts. Remember to get rest for yourself - you cannot be a good caretaker if you exhaust yourself!